Aug 21 2008
To Hug Or To Kiss?
Does anyone else have this issue?
I would say that 85% of the people I know hug OR kiss when greeting and/or saying goodbye.
The trouble is, how do you remember which are huggers and which are kissers?
I can’t remember. Other than my mom’s two best friends who I’ve know my whole life (they are kissers), I can’t remember who does what.
It’s even more awkward when it’s someone you don’t know, possibly just met that day or if they are people you rarely see because there is no way to know which they are going to go in for, the Hug or the Kiss.
What ends up happening is this.
If you are a hugger and you lean in for the hug, but they are kissers, they end up kissing your ear or neck or maybe even your hair. I’ve had this happen frequently because I am a hugger, but then sometimes, I think they are kissers, so I go in for the kiss and I end up kissing the ear, neck or hair because they are huggers.
Then you have the opposite situation for the hugger who gets a kisser who then realizes they are with a hugger. The kisser stops short and gives a brief hug. The hugger ends up with a half-assed hug. You know what I’m talking about. The barely there hug. The hand and wrist on the back, but nothing but air between. If I’m gonna hug, I want a hug. Damnit.
Sometimes if you realize the other person is going for the opposite of what you are, you end up with the cheek to cheek AND the half-assed hug.
There should be some kind of notice or maybe even a rule. A manual perhaps. Something dictating which you are to do, HUG or KISS. It would save on some very uncomfortable moments.
Yikes! I’m glad I don’t have to deal with that very often.
i don’t really have t deal with this situation quite often, though, sometimes, i notice both parties end up not doing anything they wanted at all because they are both confused as what to do, to hug or to kiss, ok, just give me a hand shake :)
you are very lucky not to have to deal with it! I deal with it every time I get together with anyone…. such stress! :D
I say neither. There is something to be said for personal space :)
Funny, this one had me rolling.
All I know are huggers so I’ve not had that problem.
I’m a hugger, and I always end up with people who don’t like to be touched! (Like co-workers, I mean.) Believe me, that can lead to some really awkward moments, too! ;-)
As a rule, I prefer a handshake. What about the euro-kissers? The air smootches (or sometimes contact kissies)to the left and right of the face?
I’ve seen some pretty hilarious collisions with that one!
See, I’m right. We need a handbook or some kind of tag to indicate which we prefer.
I’ve experienced some weird handshakes too…the jelly ones, the sweaty palm ones, the squeeze-so-tight-I-think-they-broke-a-bone ones….I think no matter how you cut it, it’s going to be an awkward thing…unless, of course, we get that handbook! :D
My husband’s family does a variation of the euro-kiss where they sometimes will give you three kisses! It’s always extra awkward because not only am I not accustomed to a regular euro-kiss, but then you never know when they’re going to throw the third one in (making you seem strange if you go for the third one and they don’t, or making yourself seem rude when you pull away as they’re leaning in for the extra kiss).
Its like tango :) just go with the flow. Look for cues like outstretched hands signaling hug and moving in close proximity of face and pouted lips indicate a kiss ready to be given :-P
My problem is the same. I usually go for the hug and if I see the opposite I change direction and usually give a half assed kiss. Embrassing but funy.
Last night, I encountered a new variation. I was at my friend’s niece’s quinceanera and I was saying goodbye to someone I had just met. He was shaking everyone’s hands, so I went in for the handshake and he went in for the hug and kiss….oy!
@Venus, I’ve never had the euro-kiss, phew! That would be a mess, I think.
@Metz, I’m usually pretty good at following a lead in a dance, but with this, they don’t give cues! There is no puckering for a kiss, it’s just leaning and wait and see what they do! :D