Aug 28 2008
Pog Mo Thon
I have mentioned before that I live with my parents and my grandma. Initially, it began as a method to save some money after my roommate decided to move in with her boyfriend.
When I lost my job (loooong painful story), it was a wonderful relief to know I didn’t have to scramble to pay rent or a mortgage.
I have had a lot of people make remarks about my poor parents having to have a grown child back at home. Or how awful it must be for me to live with my parents.
Granted, it is not the most ideal situation. There are times that I would like my privacy or not to have to deal with anyone. There are times that I would like to not have to clean up after 3 other adults.
For the most part, though, it works out fine.
To the amazement of most people, my parents LIKE having me here. Aside from the fact that I do all the housework and most of the cooking, they just like me being here.
We have a good relationship and my mom is my best friend. I know that they would prefer I not move out until I’m married (if that happens). I make them laugh, lighten the mood when there is too much stress and tension from my step-dad’s work/travel and my mom’s caring for my uncle.
For me, except for those few expected moments of frustration, I am good with being here too. For the time being, it is a situation that works for all involved.
It would be nice if people stopped judging, commenting snidely and ridiculing us.
I know that with the current economy, there are a lot of people in the same living situation. Way back when, this was totally normal and expected. I get tired of having to defend myself and my family on something so basic and non-controversial.
To those with issues regarding my living arrangements, I say get over it, mind your business and pog mo thon.
hi,
You have done the noble thing in life, taking care of your parents and grandma.
You have all the time you want to spend with them. You should consider your self lucky. For me, I only get chance to visit my parents once in a month.
As a parent, I would love my grown up children to stay as close as possible if not under the same roof. Asians still think leaving old parents to live on their own as unfilial.
I think in this culture, it is not very common, but where I came from, it is the norm. In fact, like you, I had to give up my job before from a far-away land just to be home to take care of my parents being the only girl in the family among 4 brothers. It were my parents who kept on telling me I do not have responsibility to take care of them, and that they would be happiest to see me spread my wings. When my mom finally passed away, I decide to move to US for a job, some did not look at my decision very well, they thought I was too neglecting of my father. But just like what you said, and what my father also said, “do what you have to do, you have a life to live. get over what they say, they don’t really matter.”
sadly, there are just some people who would love to judge someone’s decision.
you’re doing the right thing for me, and i hope things will get better for you.
Blessings.
Betchai
You are not the only one lo. I am also living between my Fiance in the States and my Parents here in the U.K so I am technically homeless until I have enough to get married. By the way how did you place the entrecard widget on your today blog because I just started on yesterday.
Thanks all! It’s good to know that not everyone is looking down on us and that there are many in the same boat!
yanjiraren, I’ll send you a private message.
I’m up in my late 20s and live with my mom, too. She’s my only family, and doesn’t have the best health, so I take care of her and the house, and we share the household expenses — neither one of us could make it on our own, so it only makes sense. She’s my best friend, so I’m happy with the situation. It’s silly how some people could look down on others who choose to make “unorthodox” choices in their lives. We all have to make the best decisions for ourselves and not care what anyone else thinks!
M, you are right. Good for you for taking care of your mom. I feel like they have done so much for us, it’s only right we do what we can in return.