30somethingandsearching

Do you make New Years resolutions?

I don’t.  I stopped in High School when I realized they don’t actually happen.  It seems to be part of the tradition to make the “resolution” and intend on not following through.  You may intend to on January 1^st, but somewhere in the back of your mind, you know you won’t follow through.

At least that seems to be the way most people look at it.  Because of that, I don’t do resolutions.

I do, however, make plans, set goals and have hopes for the New Year.  This year, those include finding a job in this terrible job market, paying back all debt (even in this terrible economy) and otherwise changing gears to move my life in the direction I want to see it move.

It seems most people resolve to lose weight or get in shape.  I know a few people who set that same resolution every year and never get very far.  I also intend to get in shape, but never get as far as I’d like.

I noticed this weekend that the commercials in current rotation are geared toward that particular resolution.  I can’t tell you how many commercials I saw for diet pills/powders, weight loss plans and weight loss devices.  One right after the other.  I started having weight loss overload.

I love The Biggest Loser and many of the health/weight loss blogs.  These commercials, though, are annoying.  Especially the one for the Bender Ball.  Watch this and tell me if this first girl irritates you as much as she irritates me.

“I love my abdominals.  I love my belly.  I love my abdominals.”  Come on!  Who talks like that?  Now I would love to have abs like The Fitness Diva , but I would not be going on like a woman in lust with my own self! 

I think that ball looks like it might work, but that woman in the commercial makes me not want to order it! 

So, do you make resolutions?  If you do, what is yours for 2009?

I am starting to recover from the holidays.

I had a nice Christmas.

Christmas Eve was questionable, however.  I always have delusions of grandeur for Christmas Eve.  I always picture it as this beautiful, pleasant, happy day, but it is always chaos and tension.

My mom brought my uncle and two (adult) cousins to my sister’s house in my car.  I have a Grand Am, so it’s small and low to the ground.  Fine for someone who is mobile, but for a grown man who is overweight with congestive heart failure and zero mobility, it is hell.

My cousins lifted him from his scooter to put him in my car and nearly dropped him.  They got him in and basically shoved his body into the car.  Getting him in to go to my sister’s was not as bad because it was in the condo garage.  My sister does not have an attached garage or even one an extra car could get into, so my two cousins, step-dad and brother-in-law all worked to get him out of the car (and back in to go home later) in the bitter cold and wind.

It was a hard day for my uncle physically and stressful for everyone around him.  My mom and grandma focus on him, what he needs and his comfort and do so in a high- strung mode. 

My cousins, as I have mentioned before, are both heroin addicts.  The younger deals better and wants to be clean; he can stay sober for several months at a time.  The oldest has spent 95% of his adult life behind bars.  He has been out (this time) since August and has not been able to stay clean for very long.  Because of this, we all carry very little money on us and I left all my credit, debit and gift cards at home.

The holidays are hard on them because their mother left when they were little and died of an overdose (yes, their addiction is genetic, she used long before she married my uncle, though he had no knowledge of that, and doctors have said it literally was in their blood at birth) over a decade ago.  When the youngest is sober, he doesn’t drink at all.  Last year, he did well and did not drink.  This year, they both were trolling for alcohol. 

I could tell in the oldest’s eyes and attitude, before he looked for alcohol, that he was high or looking for a fix.  I’m not sure about the youngest, to tell you the truth.  He looked odd, but he also didn’t feel well.  You can usually tell very quickly with him and not with the oldest, but it was reverse this time.  I told my sister as soon as I noticed it and we went to clear out her bathroom cabinets of any over the counter stuff they might swipe.  She doesn’t have any prescriptions.

Isn’t that a terrible way to live?  To have to secure your belongings in your own home?  We’ve dealt with this for as long as I can remember.  Even before they started with drugs, they stole from us.  It does not help my uncle’s MS either.  Stress is the worse thing for it.  And all they do is create stress.

I did my best to ignore all that and focus on my niece and nephew.  Thank God for them on so many levels.  We played Wii with them, which was fun.  I had never played before.  They are hysterical.  Both are very competitive.  My niece is really good at all the games.  My nephew is struggling with some, but he is only 3 (almost 4). 

They were adorable with the magic of Christmas this year.  My niece (6), especially.  She believes so strongly in Santa and just exuded her excitement about her excitement was contagious.  It was the most precious Christmas.

Christmas day was nice.  It is just my mom, step-dad, grandma, my sister’s family and me.  It was nice and happy and pleasant and Christmassy.  No stress, just fun.  My sister got in some trouble though, because after we opened gifts and had dinner, we were around the table munching on cookies and fudge when someone said something about Christmas and I said it was baby Jesus’ birthday.  My niece said, “it is?” in complete shock.  Then she said, “but he’s not really real, right?  I mean he isn’t here anymore?”  I said, “he is real, but he died a long time ago.” 

So, my sister is in trouble for not teaching her kids better about what Christmas really is.  I’ve said before that we are not super religious, but she was married in a church and both kids were baptized in a church.  Her husband comes from a very religious family (though he is not) and we both grew up with 12 years of Catholic school.  We should be capable of teaching the kids about Christmas.  After being scolded my mom, she is looking into CCD.  

At almost 4 and 6, the kids are more interested in Santa and presents, but they need to learn the real reason for the holiday.

Speaking of Santa and presents, I got lots of clothes, 7 books, a cd, some gift cards, an Hallmark aunt ornament, my calendar and a few other little things. 

How was your Christmas?  What did you get?  Are you recovered yet?

PS: Happy Kwanzaa!  A Blessed Yule to all my pagan friends.  If I missed any holiday in my recent well wishes, I apologize!  I hope every one has had a wonderful Christmas and Chanukah. 

As you spend your Christmas day with loved ones exchanging gifts and drinking eggnog, please keep your hearts and prayers open to those not as fortunate.  No matter how bad you think things are, there is always someone worse off than you are.

Please keep in your hearts and prayers all those who are without the ones they love today whether they are separated due to distance, estrangement or death.  Especially those who are dealing with the very first Christmas without that loved one, as the first is always the most difficult.

Please keep in your hearts and prayers all of our military men and women serving overseas or at home.  Keep their families who are without them this Christmas and those who are mourning the loss of a loved service man or woman in your hearts and prayers.

Please keep in your hearts and prayers the homeless and the destitute.  Those without enough to eat, insufficient shelter and heat, lack of warm clothes or a place to lay their heads at night.  Those without a place to go and be merry this Christmas.

Please keep in your hearts and prayers those suffering from an illness.  Whether that illness be mental or physical.  Those that suffer from addictions, because the holidays are often the most difficult time to stay sober.  Those that cannot recall Christmases past.  Those that cannot get out to see family.  Those suffering great pain.

Please keep in your hearts and prayers the lonely.  Lonely in their hearts whether surrounded by loved ones or truly all alone.

Please keep in your hearts and prayers those around the world living in poverty, war and fear.

I wish you all a very merry Christmas and a happy Chanukah.

We have had some terrible weather the last week or so.  This month alone, we have had about 20 inches of snow.  I would say at least half of that has been in the past week alone.

If you are from the Chicago area, you know Mayor Daley has decided to lessen the amount of plowing done to “save money.”  The CDOT has sworn that the side streets are being cleaned, so not to worry.  However, our street hadn’t been cleaned in a full week.  All that snow has been packed onto the street, which has created a challenge for all cars, especially those lower to the ground, like mine.

Our street is the only one within a mile not plowed.  I am thinking someone on this block has ticked off someone in power.

Today my family will go to my sister’s house for Christmas Eve.  My uncle and his 2 adult children are the only outside of our immediate family to join us.  My uncle, as I have mentioned before, has MS and is bedridden.  He gets around in a scooter if he gets out of bed, which happens about twice a year.  He looks forward to Christmas Eve all year.

My mom was unable to get a reservation for a handicap accessible van and they were going to use their old van (1993), which they rigged last year for him, but it won’t start and is buried under all that snow.

My grandma had decided not to go and my uncle was told he couldn’t go because we didn’t think my little car would be able to get down the street (I don’t drive it much and haven’t moved it since Saturday – we have had about 5 more inches of snow since then).  My mom was so upset and my cousins said they wouldn’t go if my uncle couldn’t go.  They didn’t want to leave him alone on Christmas Eve.

While my mom was in the basement yesterday, I went out and cleaned my car off.  I decided to see if I could get the car out.  It took a while and a bit of rocking, but I got it out.  Then I had to try to get over the packed mound of snow down the center of the street.  That was difficult, but I managed.  I drove around the block okay.  Parking it again was harder than getting it out, but I did it.

I had my mom call my uncle and he still said no because my grandma wasn’t going, but while she was in the other room talking to him, I talked her into going.  So, our gathering is back on.

My grandma is happy now because her 2 children and all 4 grandchildren, as well as her 2 great-grandchildren, her son-in-law and grandson-in-law will all be together.  She said at any age, but especially her age (90 in 4 months), she may never have her whole family together again.

The snow plows came down our street last night packing the snow against all the cars, but I should be able to get it out again.  I hope.  I will try it in a couple of hours.

I hope that whatever you do today and whomever you are with, you have wonderful and blessed day.

I was just helping my mom make Rice Krispies treats.  She makes 3 batches.  One for us, one for my sister’s house and one for my uncle’s.  Helping her made me think of my favorite commercial of the year.  Watch and enjoy.  My favorite part is the littlest one saying “treats.”

I have been watching Christmas movies for the last few weeks.  Every year I enjoy watching the same old movies and, of course, the new ones.

There are a few I don’t watch, like Jingle All the Way.  I hate that one. 

My favorite is White Christmas.  I watch it a few times from Thanksgiving to Christmas.  I love the singing, the songs themselves, the dancing, the costumes (those are some amazing dresses!), and the sentiment. 

I have noticed something this year, though, watching these movies.

With a few exceptions, they all revolve around one or more of the following:

-         The death of a parent/spouse

-         Divorce and/or trying to fix someone up

-         Going home to a small town one left for a big career

-         Finding love in the small town one left for a big career

-         Saving a small town from a big company ruining its charm

-         Someone feeling Scroogey and needing to learn the spirit of Christmas

A lot of the movies are cheesy and something I would never watch and enjoy at any other time of the year, but at Christmas time, I watch and usually enjoy.

This year, I watched one movie that only fit in the last category.  It really did not focus on the commercial aspect of Christmas, or even any typical Christmas scenarios.  It is called The Christmas Choir starring Jason Gedrick (who is still very hot, by the way) and Rhea Perlman.

It is actually based on a true story about a man who fits into the Scroogey and needing to learn the spirit of Christmas category and does so when he meets a homeless man.  It really is more about the true spirit of the season than most Christmas movies, even though I like all of those too.

What is your favorite Christmas movie?

My sister was showing my nephew (3) the nativity.  She has a Little People one for the kids as well as her good one.  She was explaining to him that the wise men brought baby Jesus gifts when he was born.  His response was a very exuberant, “Well wasn’t that nice of them!”

My niece (6) called Thursday very excited about some mail she got.  She got a nice letter and candy in the mail from her teacher.  The most exciting, though, was a letter from Santa!

They went to the park district a couple of weeks ago and wrote a letter to Santa.  She drew a picture for him as well (I’m thinking she was buttering him up).  The park district has a special mailbox for letters to Santa set up so they go straight to the big guy.

She got a letter from him acknowledging her letter and thanking her for her picture.  Santa said he hung it up for all the elves to see.  You could almost see her beaming through the phone.  Her brother didn’t get a picture put up since he didn’t draw one, just her.  (Can you hear the “neener, neener, neener” that I heard in that statement?)

Then she proceeded to tell me that mommy bought root beer for the party Christmas Eve (a party to her consists of anyone other than the people who live in her house.  It’s just our family and my uncle and his kids).  And guess what else?  Mommy bought sparkly applesauce. 

Did you figure out what that is?  Sparkly applesauce is sparkling apple cider.

I was in line with my mom checking out at a store and when we reached the counter, the cashier began chatting with me.  Asking about the weather and that kind of thing. 

When we walked away, my mom grinned and said, “without a doubt, he was flirting with you.”

I just smiled and thought to myself, really?  Hmmmm.

Everyone who knows me can attest to the fact that I am clueless.  I never have any idea when someone is flirting.  I think they are just being nice or making conversation.  Not flirting.

photo credit: howstuffworks.com

It happens time and again; I am told after the fact that the guy was flirting.  Waiters, cashiers, bartenders, vagabonds, etc….

There are a few occasions to which I can be certain the guy was flirting.  They usually involve some drooling on the guys’ part and him looking at me like I am a stripper on a pole.  You see, it usually has to be THAT obvious for me to realize he is flirting.

There have been a handful of times when I can tell. 

One of those times, the guy doing the flirting had potential. 

I was with my whole family, which, frankly, is not generally a time I would expect a guy to flirt, but that just shows confidence on his part.  We were in line to have brunch at Marshall Field’s Walnut Room during the holidays and this very handsome, well-dressed man comes directly to me in a line of over 100 people to ask what we were in line for.  He was smiling, a smile that reached his eyes, and making eye contact.

His eyes are burning into my soul and I am imagining a lovely wedding on a beach somewhere and 3 gorgeous blonde children (they would have taken after their daddy, of course) when my mother turns around and answers him before I could open my mouth to form a word. 

He looked stunned and slightly appalled before quickly retreating.  I had the urge to jump over the velvet rope and chase after him yelling, “wait! What about our babies!”  My all too sensible self took over and I stood firmly where I was and glared at my mother. 

“What?” she asked innocently. 

“What?!” I asked, incensed.  “You are always telling me I don’t know when a man is flirting and this time I do, but what happens?  My mommy answers for me.  If I were him, I would have run too!”

Do you think that is why I am still single? 

The kids in my life make me laugh.  The older they get, the more amusing they are to me.

Examples:

1) My nephew and my sister were over the other afternoon.  My nephew would not talk to my mom or to me.  We kept asking him things, but silence.  He went downstairs to see my grandma.  He loves my grandma so much; she eats it up too.  He ran to her and he babbled away for about a half an hour.

My sister asked him when they were at home why he wouldn’t talk to my mom or to me.  His answer:  I would have if you weren’t there.

He is going to be 4 years old in 2 months.  I can only imagine how he will be when he is 14!

2) I visited my best friend the other day.  She is on maternity leave as her newborn is just 3 weeks old.  I barely saw him because I was playing with my goddaughter who was very much needing to run and get all that energy out. 

At one point, we were running from monsters (she found it amusing that every time she would say she saw a monster, I would run screaming) and took cover in the office.  She said the following with wide, wandering eyes, arms spread out as if settling a boisterous room: We are in the land of nowhere.  Don’t panic.  If we panic, we will get them.

She just turned 3 this month.  I took the “If we panic, we will get them” to mean, if we panic, they will get us.  She’s 3.

3) I talked to my other best friend today.  She was telling me the funny things my godson does and says.  He has 2 girl friends that he is enamored with.  He is the same age as my nephew (only 2 weeks apart), so he doesn’t quite get the whole crush thing, but he adores these girls.  We were talking about how her youngest (18 months) and my godson experience random acts of violence between the two and how all kids taunt each other. 

She said the girls know what things will push my godson’s buttons and will take a certain toy and hold it over their heads while running from him.  He gets upset and she tells him they are just teasing him.

He says: I don’t want to play tease!

God, I love these kids!

8 days?

Are you sure?

I don’t believe it.  It doesn’t seem at all possible that Christmas is in 8 days.

It seems like it was just Thanksgiving.

I will admit that Halloween seems like a long time ago, but how did we get to a week before Christmas Eve?

I have so much to do still.  I have little shopping left.  Stocking stuffers for my mom’s stocking (if I don’t do it, no one will) and, of course, grocery shopping.

I have all the baking to do.  My mom makes her special homemade fudge, Kolacky cookies and Rice Krispies Treats.

Would you believe that I can’t make them?  I can make the fanciest dessert, but Rice Krispies?  Forget about it.

I make chocolate chips, oatmeal chocolate chips, crescent cookies, macaroons, spritz cookies and a mocha cookie.

I also make an entire batch of chocolate chips for my uncle because he has no one else to do it and he likes my cookies best.  I mix everything by hand, no mixers.

I have to wrap all the gifts too.  I wrap all mine for everyone, all my mom’s for everyone, all grandma’s for everyone and all my uncle’s for everyone.  Everyone except myself, that is.  I don’t wrap gifts I will be receiving. 

The good news is that we got a snow storm today that will most likely keep me in for a few days.

Tomorrow, it’s cookie and laundry day!