Feb 13 2009
When You Have A Dream, You Take Risks
I have refrained from commenting on this topic until now, but after watching NBC’s Ann Curry’s interview, I had to say something.
photo credit: washington post
By now, you have, no doubt, heard the story of Nadya Suleman, Octomom, as she has been dubbed. The mother of newborn octuplets and 6 older children.
I have no problem with women who choose to be single mothers. I have no problem with women who choose to have several children, although I would prefer they adopt children who need a home, but that is their choice. I have no problem with women who seek infertility treatment. I have no problem with women whose IVF results in multiples.
Combine all of those things, being a single mom, having several children by choice through IVF and being unemployed all the while is where I think everyone is having a problem with this.
During her interview, she said she went on disability for a back issue and had been living off that while having 6 children in 5 years intentionally via costly IVF.
First of all, how can you have children and receive disability for a back injury? I know a lot of women who have severe strain on their backs during pregnancy. I’m thinking that would nullify your disability checks. (Not to mention the back strain that must come from multiples.)
(looks like it would be a big strain on the back, no?) photo credit: TMZ
Next issue I have is she says she is responsible. Ann Curry flat out asked her how she could think she is responsible. Her answer was that she is responsible because she is there for her children.
Love is not enough, honey. When you are single and unemployed with no source of income and you intentionally and continuously bring children into the world, you are not being responsible. No matter how you cut it, that is not being responsible.
She said she always dreamed of a big family, all she wanted was to have children.
I can understand that. I’ve always wanted children too. Honestly, if I could find a man that would allow me to stay home and be a full-time mommy, that would be the life I would choose. I have not found the man for me and am still single. I am also unemployed.
However, logic tells me that as a single and unemployed woman, having children would be very irresponsible. I have no means of supporting them.
I also live with my parents, as Nadya Suleman does. Rather, she did. It appears mom and dad ran for the hills when they found out there would be 14 children under the age of 8 in their home.
photo credit: uk.news.yahoo.com
I could just imagine my parents’ response if I came home one day and said, “hey guys, I know I have been living with you for a while and have been struggling to find a job, but I figured out what I want to do with my life.
I want to be a mother. I am going to go have IVF and have as many babies as I can have, but I am going to live with you all the while and no, I don’t know how I will provide for them financially, but it’s just a risk I have to take for my dream.”
Do you have any idea how fast and frequently they would bitch-slap me until I came to my senses?
Nadya Suleman, the Octomom (makes me envision her dressed in a leotard emblazoned with a big O on the front wearing a cape posing with her hands on her hips), stated she is going to finish her Masters in Psychology in a year and a half, and THEN she will be able to provide for her family.
A) HOW does she think she is going to have TIME to finish her Masters with 14 kids, 8 as newborns? All you mom’s out there, tell me, how will she manage this while caring for her 14 kids?
B) WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD GO TO HER AS THEIR SHRINK!?!?!
C) WHAT does she plan on using to support them in the meantime? A year and a half is a long time when it comes to diapers, formula, food, clothes, shelter, doctor bills, etc.
She said she is planning on moving to a bigger home. She has set up a website for donations. She says she has never been on welfare, though she has lived on disability and food stamps. She claims she was not hoping for the financial assistance of shows like Jon & Kate Plus 8 or the Duggers.
I find it all very hard to believe.
I think she is not mentally stable. She is obviously not financially stable.
She ALREADY HAD 6 beautiful kids. One with Autism, one with ADHD and one with a learning disability. With that information and her financial situation, she thought it was responsible and not at all selfish to have 6 more embryos implanted.
I must be an irrational lunatic because this sounds very much like the actions of an irresponsible, selfish person.
God help these children.
Yep. It’s a crazy world with crazy people in it. I think you’re right though, who WOULD use her as their Shrink? Maybe the wacko doctor who did all the implantations would send future clients to her for counseling? And who is this doctor? And who paid for the treatments? Those are the questions I want answered. We’re gonna be able to talk about this one for a while.
This whole thing pisses me off. With the way the economy is, this woman is seriously asking for help when she KNOWINGLY did this to herself? I so want to create a website of my own encouraging people to boycott helping this crazy lady. Shame on anyone who donates to her, it’s only encouraging the behavior. It says to the world that it’s ok to keep having babies and live off other people, strain the system and country even more! I wouldn’t mind having a few more kids, but I can’t afford them so I am not. It’s not right that I have to bust my a$$ everyday at work to support the two I have and she can just stay home and have as many as she wants.
Just freakish. “God help these children” is right. I have to believe that since they are here, there is a purpose for them… but, Mom must have some mental health issues.
I’ve been refraining from writing about this too, Kelly. I feel I may not be able to remain silent for too much longer.
Davida
I agree with you from first sentence to the very last. It is hard to believe she thinks she is actually responsible. And how is she hoing to cope if several of her kids are special needs kids? They need a lot more attention and care. I just hope her kids will grow to be more sensible, and not follow her example.
I rant about Octomama myself. A loony, famous person wannabe, money grubbing psycho!
Awesome blog. Start writing for money, it’s a job…it counts…really it does.
I’m glad I’m not the irrational one! You all are asking the questions we all want answers to.
Lisa C, I don’t think even robbing a bank would help with your dream, not now. They aren’t doing so great themselves!
Karina, the idea of boycotting any aid to this nutter has crossed my mind, but then I think, but what about the babies? No, we shouldn’t make her, or anyone else that might get this idea, think we condone her actions, but no one wants to see those 14 innocent kids suffer. I don’t know what the right answer is.
gemma, I often wonder what goes on in the minds of other of people….
Davida, I can’t wait to see what you have to say on this.
Mize, I think that is why so many want the Dr. to be financially responsible for these kids.
Gin, I don’t like to judge either. I don’t care about her really, I am so concerned with the welfare of all those children. I think that’s how most feel.
Dr. Burst, I think in cases like the Duggers, this is true. In this woman’s case, I think she has a mental disorder. A psychological issue. She said she didn’t feel she got enough love as a child, even though her parents were very loving and active in her life. She even said she is trying to fill that hole. Rather than get emotional help, she has chosen to try to fill that void with babies. I don’t think that is a christian movement, just an emotionally unstable and immature woman.
I agree with you. This whole situation is just sad and doesn’t make a lot of sense. I don’t know much about the requirements for IVF, but is there any kind of mental/stability qualifications required before receiving the procedure? If not, maybe after a case like this, there should be.
Yep. A total nut job, for sure! Seems like a weird sort of twist on Munchausen’s by Proxy. She wants to get all this attention just by being a mother to all these kids. Someone should have put a stop to it years ago, but how? You’d have had to forcibly tie her down and perform a tubal ligation. I know that’s not legal in this country!
By the way, what’s up with the dad(s)? He is complicit in all this as well, at least for the first six.
Also, Happy Valentine’s Day to ya! Thanks for dropping by and commenting on my psychic post! ;)
laneerg, I agree, but I think the majority of IVF specialists are more ethical than this guy, which is why so many are upset about this case.
fitnessdiva, from what I understand, he agreed to be a donor. She had the eggs fertilized and frozen, but he had no idea she would have this many. Legally, he has no tie or responsibility, just as if she went to a sperm bank. She even said he was shocked when she told him she was pregnant again and when she told him there were 8 he was even more stunned.
I think she is hoping one day he will feel a responsibility because she said something of the sort in the interview, more or less that she hopes one day he will want to be involved….
I’m thinking any man that may have been interested in her would hide now. It’s hard enough for single mom’s to date with a few….14 would definitely ruin the romance….
Happy Valentine’s Day to you too!
She is a selfish lunatic . . . it is all about her 15 minutes or so of fame and how much money she can rake in from it. In my opinion, her doctor shares equal blame for being irresponsible.
Awesome post!
Gina
http://peacelovehappines.today.com
Kelly
if you are looking for a man that would allow you to stay home and be a full-time mommy, contact me ;)
i am serious
interesting proposition, Someone, but it’s not that I just want to be able to be a stay at home mom, I want to be in love with the guy. otherwise, I’d just be a nanny.
thanks though.
Ane, yes she is brave to share that photo…it is quite gross.
The words that come to my mind are: IRRESPONSIBLE LUNATIC. She should have her uterus removed so she can’t have any more babies.