30somethingandsearching

What are you cutting back on to save money?

In this economy and the downward spiral of the job market, many are making big and small changes to their daily routines and household expenses.

What are you changing?

I have already changed both my health and car insurance to lower my monthly premium.  There alone I have cut out over $250 a month.

Many are eliminating their daily latte, eating out much less, getting their hair cut less frequently, doing their nails at home among other small changes to ease the strain from this economy.

photo credit: news.ft.com

We may cut out the movie channels from our cable subscription.  We don’t watch them that often and if it saves a few dollars a week it might be well worth the change.

My current project is changing my cell phone plan.

I have not been under a contract for over a year so I have been on the plan I elected 3 years ago.  The plan was a special deal they had going, nothing like the plans they have now.  I have 1500 anytime minutes.  I don’t use even close to that. 

I also have a texting plan that costs $5 a month.  I don’t text all that often either. 

I can save over $10 a month by cutting out the texting plan and changing my plan to one with fewer minutes.  If I need to text someone, it costs $0.15.  For the rare instance that I actually use this feature, that small amount is better than $5. 

I am trying to get my step-dad to cut his Starbucks habit.  He spends $60 a month on coffee.  It’s plain old coffee, not a fancy latte or anything he couldn’t make at home.  Some habits are hard to break.

All these little changes add up.  Until the economy changes, there are just some sacrifices we have to make.

Some may think that cutting back on luxuries means you are in financial trouble, but it doesn’t.  Not for everyone.  It may, however, be what saves you from a financial disaster.  With the current instability of the economy and job market, making a budget and cutting back on things you don’t really need in order to save money might just be the smartest thing you could do.

photo credit: kpth.com

Are you making changes to save money?

It seems nearly everyone watched the inauguration of President Obama.  From toddlers to the elderly, including those in my family.

photo credit: wikipedia

I was up and watching the coverage from about 8:15 until I went to bed.  I did break away when the local news was on from 4:00 to 5:00 and then again from 7:00 – 9:00 to watch The Biggest Loser.  I had less interest in the Ball coverage, though I did watch that from 9:00 – 10:00.  

Like most, I was moved by the history of the day and the massive crowds present to witness history.  Reports say there were 2 million people and not one arrest.  The mood created by this president is evidence that we as people can come together peacefully and with like minds.  An idea that has been challenged and doubted for as long as I can remember. 

I had a chat over dinner with my mom and step-dad the other night, a day or two before the inauguration.  My mom thought the coverage and excitement for 4 days prior to the inauguration was overkill.  I told her it is history, it’s huge.  She agreed, but thought it still seemed to be too much.

I told her that not only are people of all colors excited by the history of having the first Black/African American President and all that entails, but it is also a collective sigh of relief.

George W. Bush has had the lowest approval rating of any president and most people have felt dread with him as Commander In Chief.  While I will admit not all that has happened in this country is entirely Bush’s fault, a lot of it is and as I learned a long time ago, whomever is in charge of a company or a country is ultimately held responsible for its failure and errors.  His presidency has represented a divide and a downfall with little hope of improvement or change.

President Obama has signified change, hope, and a return to a time of prosperity.  The ability for so many to come together without incident is evidence of this.  This is a large part of why so many were celebrating prior to the inauguration and why so many cried tears of joy and relief. 

Bring this idea together with the history of the day and it was overwhelming.

Every time they say President Obama, I pause.  I knew it was coming, but it still is hard to believe it really happened.  He IS the president.  It is surreal.

My nearly 90-year-old grandma has liked Obama from day one.  She watched all day (except when she was napping) and had a running commentary on the events, the people, the clothes.  It was cute.  She was disappointed, however, that they did not show the ball gowns of more people.  She was hoping to see Oprah’s gown. 

 photo credit: AP photo

My 4-year-old nephew was playing on the floor while my sister watched the inauguration.  He seems to not pay attention to things, but we now know he does.  At one point, President Obama was speaking about duty.  My nephew, being his father’s child, had a Beavis and Butthead moment.  He stopped playing and said, “he said doody.  Doody, doody, doody.  Ha, ha.  Doody.  Doody.  Doody.”  Later he decided to go in the family room and watch his show on PBS.  He knows how to turn on the TV and put that channel on.  He came running out and said very exasperated, “Mom! Obama is on 11 too!” 

My 6-year-old niece is in first grade and they have been learning about presidents and democracy.  The other day she announced Lincoln is her favorite.  They watched the inauguration in school and she said some kids were crying because it was the first Black president.  I am not sure how much she understands truly, but she knows it is historic and important.  She is just starting to understand that people are different races or colors or religions, etc.  She is in a very multicultural school that embraces differences and educates all the children about them in a positive way.  I see her and her classmates and I see the future.  It’s beautiful.

One day, it will not be a big deal for the President to be Black, Female, Asian, Latino, Native American, Indian, Muslim, Jewish, Pagan, Divorced, Single, Gay, Lesbian, etc.  One day, it will be so commonplace that the only thing people are concerned with is how well the person will lead this nation.  I see that day when I look at my niece and all the little children. 

Today, I revel in the moment and feel so much hope and excitement about the future.

Congratulations, Mr. President.

I went asleep last night
Tired from the fight
I’ve been fighting for tomorrow
All my life
Yea I woke up this morning
Feeling brand new
‘Cause the dreams that I’ve been dreaming
Have finally came true

It’s a new day
It’s a new day
It’s a new day
It’s a new day
It’s a new day

It’s been a long time coming
Up the mountain kept runnin’
Souls of freedom kept hummin’
Channeling Harriet Tubman

Kennedy, Lincoln, and King
We gotta invest in that dream
It feels like we’re swimming upstream
It feels like we’re stuck inbetween
A rock and a hard place,
We’ve been through the heartaches
And lived through the darkest days

If you and I made it this far,
Well then hey, we can make it all the way
And they said no we can’t
And we said yes we can
Remember it’s you and me together

I woke up this morning
Feeling alright
I’ve been fightin’ for tomorrow
All my life
Yea, I woke up this morning
Feeling brand new
Cause the dreams that I’ve been dreaming
Have finally came true

It’s a new day
(it’s a new day)
It’s a new day
(it’s a new day)
It’s a new day
It’s a new day!

It’s been a long time waitin’
Waiting for this moment
Been a long time praying
Praying for this moment

We hope for this moment
And now that we own it
For life I will hold it
And I ain’t gonna let it go

It’s for fathers, our brothers,
Our friends who fought for freedom
Our sisters, our mothers,
Who died for us to be in this moment

Stop and cherish this moment
Stop and cherish this time

It’s time for you and me
For us and we
That’s you and me together

I woke up this morning
Feeling brand new
Cause the dreams that I’ve been dreaming
Have finally came true
Yea, I woke up this morning
Feeling alright

‘Cause we weren’t fighting for nothing
And the soldiers weren’t fighting
For nothing
No, Martin was dreaming for nothing
And Lincoln didn’t change it for nothing
And children weren’t crying for nothing

It’s a new day
It’s a new day
A new day
It’s a new day
It’s a new day!

will.i.am “It’s a New Day”

I don’t watch The View.  I used to, I admit, but I just can’t handle Elisabeth Hasselbeck.  I can’t handle the arguing that ensues and the way they talk over each other.  I can’t stand the way I feel after watching it: angry and tense.  So, I stopped watching it, even though I adore Whoopi. 

I also rarely watch Access Hollywood anymore.  I happened to catch the episode on Tuesday January 13 while eating a quick dinner.  They were showing a clip from Monday’s (January 12) episode of The View with Ann Coulter and discussed the “aftermath” with her.  Coulter was apparently plugging her book on the show.  Barbara Walters read a bit of it and set the ladies off.

The bit that was read basically said that single mothers are to blame for crime because they raise criminals, which didn’t sit well with the ladies.  Another topic they “discussed” was celebrities who are half-Black and half-White, like Halle Berry, who were raised by their White mothers, yet they identify as being Black.

Ann seems to take offense to this. 

I’m glad I didn’t see this episode because I would have been furious.  My mom raised my sister and me as a single mother.  Neither of us are criminals.  There are many, many people raised by single mothers who are productive, respected human beings, never having committed a crime.

I also don’t quite understand why Coulter is concerned with the way someone identifies themselves.

  photo credit from a really great piece: http://www.theamericanview.com/index.php?id=936 

Since she is obsessed, I have to wonder why.  I am guessing there is some supremacy aspect to her.

I have many comments to this topic.

Why does it matter how someone identifies himself or herself? 

Perhaps the reason they identify as Black is because their complexion is darker and to the outside world, that is what they are. 

Have you ever noticed the way some people focus on someone’s race when they can’t figure it out?  If it is not obvious, they ponder it.  Because someone like Halle Berry is a lighter complexion and has smaller features, people aren’t sure “what they are.”

I hear this from my mom often.  “What do you think she is?” 

Perhaps the reason they identify as Black is because the media focuses on that and waits until the celebrity tells us, like Tiger Woods did, or they just decide for them.

Perhaps they are conditioned.  By White America.  If you know history, there once was a one-drop rule.  Meaning, one drop of Black blood would identify that person on census reports as Black.  Perhaps this has simply carried over to the way people automatically view themselves and others.

It is doubtfully a snub toward their White family, especially if they were raised by a White mother.  I’ve only ever heard celebrities of mixed race speak well of the family who raised them. 

Let’s put this in perspective a bit.

I’m 90% White.  Whatever that means, right?  I’m mostly Irish, but there is some Scottish, French, German, Bohemian and probably a few other things I don’t know about.  The other 10% is Native American. 

I identify as White.  Because I look it.  If someone says, “what are you,” depending on whether they want the full or abridged version, I tell them all of the above or I just say Irish.

It’s just easier to say one answer.  It doesn’t mean I am not proud of my Native American ancestry.  I am.  It’s just simpler to say Irish than to spew off all the aspects of my heritage.

My best friend is half-Chinese and half-Irish (and a few other things).  She identifies as Asian on those little boxes we have to fill out.  She would like to check White or Caucasian AND Asian, but she isn’t given that option.  She is only given the option to choose one. 

I imagine that is where a lot of people have had to make the decision as to how they should identify.  The government puts us into those little boxes and we are only allowed to choose one.

So, could it be due to the census reports? 

It could be any of the above or all of the above or something entirely different.

I don’t understand why it matters how someone chooses to identify.  That is their personal choice.  I don’t know why someone else would care or take offense or even think they have the right to question that choice.

What frustrates me more than anything is that as a country, we are trying to move away from race and that racial divide.  Then there are people like Ann Coulter who not only seem to enjoy the racial divide, but appear to perpetuate and further that divide.

Shame on her.

Many people have been counting the days until President George W. Bush is out of office.  I know many who have been counting since his second term started.

I admit I did a happy dance this week realizing we have less than a week to go with him as our Commander in Chief. 

I am the type that, generally speaking, believes the President, no matter who he or she is, deserves the respect of the people.  There are certain instances of Bush’s presidency where I cringed at some of the outright disrespect.

However, there are many more times that I have lacked respect for him myself.  I would say that has been 90% of the last 8 years. 

The majority of his presidency has put the United States in poor light around the world.  As a country, we have always been respected, but for 8 years, we have been the laughing stock.

I have hoped that the people around the world would realize that our President has not reflected who the people are; he has not represented what the majority of us stand for or, shall I say, our intelligence.

When I have seen leaders of other countries behave in vile or infantile ways, I remind those around me who want to lump the citizens of that country in the same context as that leader that we don’t want to be compared or included in the same category with our current leader.

While I know that the late night talk shows and comedians around the world are grieving that Bush will no longer be fuel for their careers, many of we Americans (and I am sure those in other countries as well) rejoice.

I will be dancing on January 20^th singing “ding, dong, Bush is gone,” as the munchkins in the land of Oz did.

I will also be dancing and cheering as President-Elect Obama is sworn in during his inauguration.

Obama represents so much more than just being the next President, or even the first African-American President.

He represents hope for a country that has been flailing for so long. 

He represents unity among the races and among the parties that have been sadly divided. 

He represents stability for a country and a world that has been teetering.

He represents intelligence and strength.  Two elements a president needs and something our current administration has been lacking. 

He represents the possibility of a better world.  He appears to be capable of balancing peace and power, respect and fortitude, East and West, Black and White.  He seems to encapsulate Yin & Yang. 

All that he represents is somewhat different for everyone and there is no way one person could capture it in words.  It is a feeling, a sense of calm, a sense of feeling safe in a way we haven’t felt in nearly a decade.

No, he won’t get everything he promised done immediately.  He may not even be able to get it all done because the checks and balances we have in place might block his attempts.  I am not naïve enough to believe that any president will do all he or she claims to do during his or her campaign.  Yet I believe he will try.

I won’t pretend that everyone is thrilled about this coming President.  I know many are angry and scared.  I understand that.  However, I won’t let that ruin what is not only an historic event, but an event that feels to many to be the beginning of something amazing, a turning point for the US and for the world. 

I received an email with the wonderful thought to send Christmas cards to wounded soldiers at Walter Reed Medical Center.  I recalled hearing in the past that it was not a good idea to send cards to anonymous soldiers, so I went to their website and found the following.

Holiday cards should be mailed to:
Holiday Mail for Heroes
P.O. Box 5456
Capitol Heights, MD. 20791-5456

All cards must be postmarked no later than Dec. 10. Cards should not be mailed or delivered to Walter Reed Army Medical Center.

While doing your holiday cards this year why not do one extra and send it to a soldier?  I know I will.  I have yet to do my cards, but I bought them yesterday and will send this very special card out today.

With all the sacrifices they make, I feel the very least I can do is to wish a soldier a wonderful holiday and thank them for what they do for us.

We have all heard the phrase “The Obama Effect.”  This phrase is used in discussing politics and voting patterns.

photo credit: courant.com

I believe we are going to experience a whole other Obama Effect.

The Obama Effect I am referring to is  two-fold. 

First, the way America and the world view Black families and all that goes with that.  There is talk of having President-Elect Obama as not only a role model, but the Commander in Chief, will show youth they CAN achieve anything as well as showing young black men what it means to be a father, even if they didn’t have one.

photo credit: courant.com

  photo credit: courant.com

The second aspect, the one I am going to discuss, has more to do with the Obama ladies.

         photo credit: nydailynews.com

Michelle Obama is obviously becoming a fashion icon.  Stores sell out of clothes she is seen wearing and Sasha and Malia are becoming little fashion plates as well.  I heard one of the girls has a line named after her.   I will leave the fashion commentary to the experts, particularly one of my favorite blogs, Fashiona . The bigger effect is likely to be a shift in self-image among Black girls. 

I took many psychology classes (I considered it as a major) including child psychology.  I remember a study that was done which questioned many young Black girls about different images and ideas.  They gave young Black girls a black doll and white doll asking which was good and which was bad.  They overwhelmingly chose the black doll as bad and when asked which was like them, they picked the black doll.  The conclusion being that Black girls believed themselves to be bad.

The initial study was done 6 decades ago, but it has been repeated over the years with the same results.

One would think that with more television shows and movies with positive roles representing Black women, the results might be different.  Also with the change in the world of fashion models, news anchors and even the Secretary of State showing a broadened image, young girls would not think this way. 

Last night, the local ABC news affiliate did a piece on this called Beautiful Black .  The study was recently repeated and again, the girls chose the black doll as bad.  One girl, when asked why the doll was bad, answered it was because she was black.  Heartbreaking, really.

If you watch the video, you will see when asked which doll was like her, she hesitated and wanted to pick the white doll, which she said was the nice doll, but ended up choosing the black doll. You can see in her eyes how painful this was, especially after having just said the black doll was bad.
Although I have taken Black History courses and have read many books about Black History, I don’t think anything can convey this idea any better than Toni Morrison’s The Bluest Eye .

I have heard and read that there is prejudice within the Black community because of varying shades of skin, texture of hair and whatnot. I know there are prejudices within all races, so this is not surprising, yet it is sad. It is as sad as women knocking each other down rather then lifting each other up. We do this to each other with regard to jobs, men, clothes, looks and intelligence. I hope that one day we can all get passed this and find value in one another instead of demeaning and degrading each other.

Michelle, Malia and Sasha Obama are beautiful, smart, fashionable females who undoubtedly will be excellent role models for young girls around the world. Only time will tell how far reaching The Obama Effect will be and what changes will be brought to the results of the study shown in the video.

I wanted to take today to stand and salute our soldiers, present and past.   

Without our soldiers, we would not be here.  We would not have the freedom we have, the luxuries we have, the language we have, etc. 

Every Veteran’s Day, we think of the soldiers of World War I, World War II and
Vietnam. 

They, of course, deserve their due respect.  However, there are other wars we often forget about. Wars for which all the soldiers are no long with us, like the Civil War, but also wars for which there are many soldiers still walking proudly for serving their country, though they do not get the recognition. 

I am talking about the Korean War, the forgotten war.  

If you are like me, you know someone, either family or a friend that has served in every way in the last century up to and including the current war in
Iraq.   

Today, let’s all give a big thank you to are veterans. 

Thank you!

Today the Obama’s meet with President Bush and the First Lady in the White House. 

They mentioned last night on the news that Michele Obama will most likely stay behind to look at schools for Sasha and Malia.  They said she would like to keep the girls in the same school, which will limit their choices. 

Everyone has been talking about how exciting this is for the kids and what a great opportunity to grow up in that setting making history.  What a great opportunity to meet world leaders and such. 

I don’t want to negate that, because it is wonderful and amazing. 

However, I was thinking last night how difficult this will be on them too.  This transition would be difficult on any child, really.  They have to leave their home, their school, their friends.  Everything they know and are used to is going to change so quickly.   

They have to adjust to constant secret service following them everywhere they go.  I am sure they are somewhat used to it, but it will be increased when their dad is sworn in.  They have to try to make new friends when everyone knows they are the President’s daughters.  

I then thought about what it will be like when puberty strikes; Malia will be 14 when his first term is up.    

I’m not saying I pity them, it is a wonderful thing, but I just feel for them being so young and having to make such big changes.  It must be difficult for them.  I hope the family succeeds in helping them through the adjustment. 

My 6 year-old niece learned her first swear word. 

As a whole, we are not a swearing family.  Never really were.  My step-dad introduced us to most of the language we learned.  Though, my favorite swear words were learned from my 89 year-old grandma. 

It’s a southern thing, but the words she let slip most often made me giggle so they are my favorite.  Pissant and shitfire.  I love those words. 

We don’t swear much, audibly anyway, especially around the kids.  My sister has a degree in early childhood education and was a teacher until her second child came along and it just made more sense to stay home with them.  I worked with her for about a year in college.   

I think once you’ve worked in a daycare type setting, you always have that mindset around kids.   We don’t even say stupid, shut up, idiot or anything else that we don’t want the kids repeating. 

My niece is in first grade, however, so she is exposed to other kids.  Some kids have parents that swear like truck drivers in front of them or they have older siblings that teach them these things. 

There are 2 kids my niece is friendly with that are bad influences.  One is her neighbor, so there isn’t much that can be done to keep her away entirely.  The other is the best friend of the neighbor.  Both girls are classmates as well. 

My niece came home Wednesday and was telling my sister that they found out the results of their mock-election.  My brother-in-law is a staunch Republican (though this year he voted for Nader) and has told my niece that Democrats are bad since she was 2.   

I hate this because at her age, she doesn’t understand what he means.  She thinks they are bad like terrorists are bad and she doesn’t understand the difference between politicians and everyday people.   

Because of this, she voted for McCain in the mock-election (even though her parents both were against him).  So when she came home, she was telling my sister she found out McCain lost. 

“Mommy, I was so mad I said ‘damn it!’” 

“You said what?” 

“I said, damn it.” 

“That’s not a nice thing to say.  Where did you hear that word?” 

“Jessica,” and she began crying.  My niece is a perfectionist and never wants to do anything wrong. 

“I’m not yelling at you. I’m just telling you because you didn’t know that was a bad word.” 

I can just hear her going to school and telling Jessica that is a bad word and she shouldn’t say it or she will get in trouble.   

Did I mention she is also bossy?