30somethingandsearching

Don’t you just hate those telemarketing calls?

photo credit: ehow.com

I signed up years ago on the Do Not Call Registry, but certain telemarketers are exempt.

That includes fundraising for charities and political parties.

Normally, I don’t mind that.  We don’t get many calls from charities other than those we have donated to in the past.  It generally increases around the holidays, but that is to be expected.

Political calls are rare. 

Even during the 2008 campaign and election, we didn’t have many calls.

The last two weeks, however, have turned into a circus.

Every day we get 4 to 8 calls from Telefund, which is a company that raises money on behalf of charitable organizations.  They call anywhere from 8 am to after 9 pm 7 days a week.  It is obnoxious. 

They called yesterday, Sunday, a day that should be free from any solicitation as far as I am concerned.  It rang twice; I picked up the phone and hung it up.  Leave me alone!

The political calls have gotten ridiculous the last 2 weeks as well.

We have a special primary election Tuesday here for the open seat in Congress Rahm Emanuel left.

Nearly every day we have calls from candidates.  Not only do we have the prerecorded calls from each candidate, we have calls from their volunteers, which show up on Caller ID simply as Cellular Call and the number.

Since we are getting responses for my grandma’s birthday party and do not know all the numbers people would call from, we end up answering these calls.

My feeling with any kind of solicitation, or anything really, is the more you bother me about something, the less likely I am to do what you want.

Therefore, if you call me daily, I am certainly not going to vote for you or donate to your charity, no matter how worthy you or it might be.

There are two candidates for whom I definitely would not vote. 

Why?  Well, I will tell you. 

They EMAILED me! 

It might just be me, but I feel like that is so much more of an invasive technique than the phone call.  To get my email address, you had to have purchased it from someone with the sole intent of soliciting me. 

Phone numbers are public.  Phone numbers are usually written down with your voter registration.  As annoying as it is, I know I have given them my number.  I did not give them my email address.

And then to stop them from emailing me further, I have to UNSUBSCRIBE.

I NEVER SUBSCRIBED TO BEGIN WITH!

The only politicians that have ever emailed me are those that I provided my address with on THEIR websites. 

I know that email is the new, cool, hip way of keeping in touch with your constituents, but I am not your constituent yet. 

And frankly, if ALL the candidates had emailed me I might think they were given the email address from Rahm Emanuel’s listing, but only 2 emailed me. 

Perhaps it is the build up of all these calls from both the charities and the politicians that have irked me so much.  Either way, I want all those telemarketers to know that I am beyond annoyed and you are fighting a losing battle by contacting me!

Go away!  All of you, just leave me alone and GO AWAY!

Okay, rant over.

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We have all seen this photo, correct?

photo credit: Chris Gordon, WireImage

The photo that set the world on fire, right?

The image shows Jessica Simpson with a few extra pounds from when we last saw her. 

The media has blown this story out of proportion.  She gained a few pounds.  So what?

I will disclose right now that I do not like Jessica Simpson.  I find her more irritating than I can even tell you.

Regardless of personal feelings toward her, I found this story to be offensive and a sad example of the pressure women are under to be perfect.

If a woman is not a size 0, she is fat.  I must be obese because I am a size 10 at 5’10.  Holy crap, send me to The Biggest Loser right now!

I don’t see a fat woman in this photo.  I see a woman who is healthy.  She is not a stick figure, she has curves. 

When are we going to stop beating each other up?  When are we going to say “that is enough?”

Until women stop buying the tabloids that vilify women for being womanly, our children are going to be the ones to suffer.  Little girls and young women see these stories and grow up thinking they have to be skinny or, worse yet, perfect to be accepted.

As a former anorexic, it pains me to see stories like this.  In the recent past, it was Jennifer Love Hewitt and Tyra Banks who were under fire for not being stick figures.

We can’t win.  If we are skinny and small chested with no butt, we are teased for looking like a boy.  If we are curvy and womanly, we are told we are fat.

NEWSFLASH!  There is no such thing as perfection.  It is a mind game and a sick form of torture.

Let it go.  As long as you are healthy, embrace your body. 

Where the media should have targeted Jessica Simpson in this photo is her wardrobe.  What IS that? 

I have refrained from commenting on this topic until now, but after watching NBC’s Ann Curry’s interview, I had to say something.

photo credit: washington post

By now, you have, no doubt, heard the story of Nadya Suleman, Octomom, as she has been dubbed.  The mother of newborn octuplets and 6 older children. 

I have no problem with women who choose to be single mothers.  I have no problem with women who choose to have several children, although I would prefer they adopt children who need a home, but that is their choice.  I have no problem with women who seek infertility treatment.  I have no problem with women whose IVF results in multiples.

Combine all of those things, being a single mom, having several children by choice through IVF and being unemployed all the while is where I think everyone is having a problem with this.

During her interview, she said she went on disability for a back issue and had been living off that while having 6 children in 5 years intentionally via costly IVF.

First of all, how can you have children and receive disability for a back injury?  I know a lot of women who have severe strain on their backs during pregnancy.  I’m thinking that would nullify your disability checks.  (Not to mention the back strain that must come from multiples.)

(looks like it would be a big strain on the back, no?) photo credit: TMZ

Next issue I have is she says she is responsible.  Ann Curry flat out asked her how she could think she is responsible.  Her answer was that she is responsible because she is there for her children.

Love is not enough, honey.  When you are single and unemployed with no source of income and you intentionally and continuously bring children into the world, you are not being responsible.  No matter how you cut it, that is not being responsible.

She said she always dreamed of a big family, all she wanted was to have children.

I can understand that.  I’ve always wanted children too.  Honestly, if I could find a man that would allow me to stay home and be a full-time mommy, that would be the life I would choose.  I have not found the man for me and am still single.  I am also unemployed.

However, logic tells me that as a single and unemployed woman, having children would be very irresponsible.  I have no means of supporting them.

I also live with my parents, as Nadya Suleman does.  Rather, she did.  It appears mom and dad ran for the hills when they found out there would be 14 children under the age of 8 in their home. 

 photo credit: uk.news.yahoo.com

I could just imagine my parents’ response if I came home one day and said, “hey guys, I know I have been living with you for a while and have been struggling to find a job, but I figured out what I want to do with my life.

I want to be a mother.  I am going to go have IVF and have as many babies as I can have, but I am going to live with you all the while and no, I don’t know how I will provide for them financially, but it’s just a risk I have to take for my dream.”

Do you have any idea how fast and frequently they would bitch-slap me until I came to my senses?

Nadya Suleman, the Octomom (makes me envision her dressed in a leotard emblazoned with a big O on the front wearing a cape posing with her hands on her hips), stated she is going to finish her Masters in Psychology in a year and a half, and THEN she will be able to provide for her family.

A)  HOW does she think she is going to have TIME to finish her Masters with 14 kids, 8 as newborns?  All you mom’s out there, tell me, how will she manage this while caring for her 14 kids?

B)  WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD GO TO HER AS THEIR SHRINK!?!?!

C)  WHAT does she plan on using to support them in the meantime?  A year and a half is a long time when it comes to diapers, formula, food, clothes, shelter, doctor bills, etc.

She said she is planning on moving to a bigger home.  She has set up a website for donations.  She says she has never been on welfare, though she has lived on disability and food stamps.  She claims she was not hoping for the financial assistance of shows like Jon & Kate Plus 8 or the Duggers.

I find it all very hard to believe.

I think she is not mentally stable.  She is obviously not financially stable.

She ALREADY HAD 6 beautiful kids.  One with Autism, one with ADHD and one with a learning disability.  With that information and her financial situation, she thought it was responsible and not at all selfish to have 6 more embryos implanted.

I must be an irrational lunatic because this sounds very much like the actions of an irresponsible, selfish person.

God help these children.

So, I went to the computer lab again yesterday.  I had emailed the “instructor” last week about the computer classes, the people at the lab who had no idea what class I was talking about, the loud and rude “tutor” and the fact that nothing is clear as to what I am supposed to “turn in” for grading.

I got a response telling me what assignments to do. 

I had also asked if the classes could be done at home if I bought the books, but I didn’t get a response about that.

I decided to give the class one more shot at trying to figure out what they wanted me to do.

I got a ride, because my car is still dead and no one has any idea what is wrong with it, and sat there for about 20 – 30 minutes before I gave up.

I found the first assignment and started at it immediately.  I figured since I know the basics, I could breeze through the first bunch of assignments.

I opened the file it said to open.  The first part was to save it as a different name they provided.  After that, I should do various things. 

The problem, which is the problem I encountered last time with several files in the “practice” part when I still didn’t know what was to be turned in, is that the files are all marked as “read only” and cannot be saved as anything.

I tried different files and saving them as something in different ways, but the same message appeared.

I have used excel for years and have saved many a file as something else.  I know how to do this basic function.  But if a file is marked as read only by the administrator, there is nothing I can do to complete the assignment.

I fired off an email to the instructor and am waiting to hear back on what to do to drop these classes.  I have wasted 2 solid weeks and I am not wasting any more of my time on this crap.  They clearly have no interest in ensuring their students succeed when they can’t be bothered to prepare files properly or have staff that knows about this program.

It’s ridiculous.

Fortunately, the paralegal classes are going much better.  The instructor knows what he is doing and communicates with me regularly and quickly.  I turned in my first assignment and got feedback within a half hour.  He said I did a great job and provided the links for the next class.  I still have to finish the work for the second course, but it’s not due until Thursday, so I’m good.  So far, it is pretty straightforward, just time consuming. 

At least that’s something.

I went to the computer lab today to start my Microsoft Office Specialist Certificate classes.

I hadn’t gone yet because my car is dead.  I was going to go for the first time last Monday, but that’s when the car died and I was waiting for it to be fixed because it seemed like it would be fixed rather quickly.  As you know, that hasn’t happened.

I got a ride and went to the room listed on my registration.  I signed in and told them what classes I was there for because when I registered, it said they would provide me with the materials.

They had no idea what I was trying to tell them.  I said I was there for the MOS Certificate classes for Excel and PowerPoint.  The dimwit behind the counter tried to give me info for the Microsoft Office class.  I said Excel and PowerPoint for the MOS Certificate, they are independent study classes.

They didn’t get it.  It took two people to figure it out.  They gave me a workbook and I went to a computer.  I clicked on the Independent Study window and looked over the info.  There is no information telling me exactly what I am supposed to do.  I know I am to read the book and practice the things it tells me to, but it tells me to do certain things to established documents, save as, print preview and print. 

I know how to do all of that, so I am not sure if I am doing this just for practice or if I am supposed to turn it in.  If I am just doing it to practice, I don’t need to print, that’s wasteful and I already know how to do that.  There are things I am supposed to email to the instructor, but it isn’t clear what those things are.

When I registered, I was told there would be an instructor nearby if I needed help.  There isn’t.  There is a very LOUD, unpleasant “tutor” who also doesn’t seem to know what he is talking about.  Several people asked him for help and not only did he shout so that everyone in the lab was disrupted, he didn’t answer their questions and was condescending. 

photo credit: Dario on Flickr

After almost 2 hours, I left.  I felt like I just wasted all that time because I was reading and trying to figure out what I am actually supposed to be doing. 

I called for someone to pick me up and while I waited, I walked over to the building and room listed next to my Paralegal courses.

Those classes start Thursday and I hadn’t heard anything about what to do or where to go to start the classes.  They are online, but I don’t know what website or whatnot.  Since the MOS classes hadn’t given me any information, I thought I’d go ask about these before they start.

I told them why I was there and they gave me an email address for the instructor, they couldn’t tell me anything else.  I took that and decided to email that person when I got home to ask about it.  When I signed into my email, the instructor listed on my registration had emailed me indicating what to do and where to do it.  Thank God someone is on top of things.  However, the name of the instructor is different than the one they gave me at the office today, which tells me they know even less than they suggested. 

Does anyone at this school have any idea what they are talking about?

I am going to contact one of the instructors (which is funny since none of them actually instruct) for the MOS classes and ask if I buy the book if I can do the stuff at home.  Seriously, if I have to teach myself everything with no help from a live person, I’d rather do it at home in my pajamas and without the disruption of the tutor.  If not, I am going to see about dropping these classes and taking them online at another school.  The school I got my BA from offers these classes online, but they don’t start until March, which is why I opted for the classes I’m enrolled in, hoping to get a head start.

This really shouldn’t be so complicated.

I don’t watch The View.  I used to, I admit, but I just can’t handle Elisabeth Hasselbeck.  I can’t handle the arguing that ensues and the way they talk over each other.  I can’t stand the way I feel after watching it: angry and tense.  So, I stopped watching it, even though I adore Whoopi. 

I also rarely watch Access Hollywood anymore.  I happened to catch the episode on Tuesday January 13 while eating a quick dinner.  They were showing a clip from Monday’s (January 12) episode of The View with Ann Coulter and discussed the “aftermath” with her.  Coulter was apparently plugging her book on the show.  Barbara Walters read a bit of it and set the ladies off.

The bit that was read basically said that single mothers are to blame for crime because they raise criminals, which didn’t sit well with the ladies.  Another topic they “discussed” was celebrities who are half-Black and half-White, like Halle Berry, who were raised by their White mothers, yet they identify as being Black.

Ann seems to take offense to this. 

I’m glad I didn’t see this episode because I would have been furious.  My mom raised my sister and me as a single mother.  Neither of us are criminals.  There are many, many people raised by single mothers who are productive, respected human beings, never having committed a crime.

I also don’t quite understand why Coulter is concerned with the way someone identifies themselves.

  photo credit from a really great piece: http://www.theamericanview.com/index.php?id=936 

Since she is obsessed, I have to wonder why.  I am guessing there is some supremacy aspect to her.

I have many comments to this topic.

Why does it matter how someone identifies himself or herself? 

Perhaps the reason they identify as Black is because their complexion is darker and to the outside world, that is what they are. 

Have you ever noticed the way some people focus on someone’s race when they can’t figure it out?  If it is not obvious, they ponder it.  Because someone like Halle Berry is a lighter complexion and has smaller features, people aren’t sure “what they are.”

I hear this from my mom often.  “What do you think she is?” 

Perhaps the reason they identify as Black is because the media focuses on that and waits until the celebrity tells us, like Tiger Woods did, or they just decide for them.

Perhaps they are conditioned.  By White America.  If you know history, there once was a one-drop rule.  Meaning, one drop of Black blood would identify that person on census reports as Black.  Perhaps this has simply carried over to the way people automatically view themselves and others.

It is doubtfully a snub toward their White family, especially if they were raised by a White mother.  I’ve only ever heard celebrities of mixed race speak well of the family who raised them. 

Let’s put this in perspective a bit.

I’m 90% White.  Whatever that means, right?  I’m mostly Irish, but there is some Scottish, French, German, Bohemian and probably a few other things I don’t know about.  The other 10% is Native American. 

I identify as White.  Because I look it.  If someone says, “what are you,” depending on whether they want the full or abridged version, I tell them all of the above or I just say Irish.

It’s just easier to say one answer.  It doesn’t mean I am not proud of my Native American ancestry.  I am.  It’s just simpler to say Irish than to spew off all the aspects of my heritage.

My best friend is half-Chinese and half-Irish (and a few other things).  She identifies as Asian on those little boxes we have to fill out.  She would like to check White or Caucasian AND Asian, but she isn’t given that option.  She is only given the option to choose one. 

I imagine that is where a lot of people have had to make the decision as to how they should identify.  The government puts us into those little boxes and we are only allowed to choose one.

So, could it be due to the census reports? 

It could be any of the above or all of the above or something entirely different.

I don’t understand why it matters how someone chooses to identify.  That is their personal choice.  I don’t know why someone else would care or take offense or even think they have the right to question that choice.

What frustrates me more than anything is that as a country, we are trying to move away from race and that racial divide.  Then there are people like Ann Coulter who not only seem to enjoy the racial divide, but appear to perpetuate and further that divide.

Shame on her.

Do you make New Years resolutions?

I don’t.  I stopped in High School when I realized they don’t actually happen.  It seems to be part of the tradition to make the “resolution” and intend on not following through.  You may intend to on January 1^st, but somewhere in the back of your mind, you know you won’t follow through.

At least that seems to be the way most people look at it.  Because of that, I don’t do resolutions.

I do, however, make plans, set goals and have hopes for the New Year.  This year, those include finding a job in this terrible job market, paying back all debt (even in this terrible economy) and otherwise changing gears to move my life in the direction I want to see it move.

It seems most people resolve to lose weight or get in shape.  I know a few people who set that same resolution every year and never get very far.  I also intend to get in shape, but never get as far as I’d like.

I noticed this weekend that the commercials in current rotation are geared toward that particular resolution.  I can’t tell you how many commercials I saw for diet pills/powders, weight loss plans and weight loss devices.  One right after the other.  I started having weight loss overload.

I love The Biggest Loser and many of the health/weight loss blogs.  These commercials, though, are annoying.  Especially the one for the Bender Ball.  Watch this and tell me if this first girl irritates you as much as she irritates me.

“I love my abdominals.  I love my belly.  I love my abdominals.”  Come on!  Who talks like that?  Now I would love to have abs like The Fitness Diva , but I would not be going on like a woman in lust with my own self! 

I think that ball looks like it might work, but that woman in the commercial makes me not want to order it! 

So, do you make resolutions?  If you do, what is yours for 2009?

I posted the other day about the term pet peeve and how strange I think it sounds. 

I thought today I would post about some of my pet peeves (aside from the term itself).

Patricia from Communication Exchange commented that her pet peeve is cars with the radio really loud.

- One of my biggest pet peeves is similar.  Not only cars with the radio loud, but the bass so loud that the house vibrates.  I live near a busy intersection so it is a common occurrence to feel my house vibrate and hear the windows rattle from the bass.

- Why must people mess with the exhaust of their car so that it purposely sounds like a crap car?  I cannot stand cars that intentionally make a lot of noise.  I understand that as a child, you took your toy car and made the “vroom vroom” sound, but that does not mean that your real car as an adult should also go “vroom vroom.”

photo credit: seekyledraw.com

- Why must people speed up or turn suddenly to get ahead of me and then slow to a crawl?  If it was so urgent, shouldn’t you keep driving, oh say, AT the speed limit at the very least?

- Open mouth chewing and smacking noises while eating.  I do not want nor need to see your food or hear you chewing it, thanks.

- People who go on and on about their wonderful accomplishments incessantly without prompting, discussing anything else or letting anyone else speak.

- Women who are begging for compliments.  You know the type to whom I am referring.  They area size 4 and say things like, “oh my god, these jeans make me look so fat!” OR “I can’t eat that potato chip or my face will get even bigger!”  Or they are so gorgeous they could be a super model and they say things like, “I can’t believe the bags under my eyes, I can’t go out like this!”  All hoping and praying you will say, “you’re not fat!”  “You are so skinny, what are you talking about?” “You are perfect, what bags?”

- People who let their children run wild in a store.  I have been practically knocked over by these wild animal children who dodge and dart in and out of displays and around registers.  I have almost stepped on them as well.  Of course, there are some instances of a child escaping from a parent and the parent desperately trying to get hold of them, but for the most part, it is parents who don’t even pay attention.  They are focused on the shirt they are looking at and have no clue what their little beasts are doing.  Also, the ones that let their kids play with ATM machines like it’s a video game.  If you gave birth and/or are responsible for the child(ren), BE responsible for them. 

- There are others that are more general, like inconsideration, littering, lack of respect for other people’s property, violence, hate, ignorance, etc…. I could go on and on.

- Then there are computer/blogging pet peeves.  Pop-ups are a big one.  I will not drop on (Entrecard) or read a blog that has a lot of pop-ups or detours me to another site. 

How about you?  What are your biggest pet peeves?

Women all over the world can relate to what I am about to say.

I feel unappreciated.

Many of you know my living situation.  For those of you that don’t, I live with my parents for a variety of reasons.  Right now, we will use the current economy and the fact that I am one of the many unemployed struggling to find a job.

Because I live with them for free, I feel the need to pull my weight.  I also want to help my mom out as much as possible because she takes care of my uncle, who is bedridden from MS, and my 89-year-old grandma.

I help her with grandma because she lives with us too.

Because of these reasons, I do all the cleaning.  I do all the laundry.  I do most of the cooking.  Basically, I do everything around the house as if I were the wife and mother. 

I don’t mind usually.  I do get very annoyed at times because my step-dad is a slob. 

I am a bit of a neat freak.  Things like the water all over the sink after he washes up, little hairs in the sink after shaving, underwear hanging on the doorknob, not putting his shaving cream away, not throwing things in the garbage that is only 3 feet away drives me crazy.

It’s my own personal need for things to be put away and neat that makes me find all of that annoying.

I generally do not mind doing all the cleaning though. 

I would like a little nod of appreciation, however.  Just a bit of acknowledgement that I did these things.  A “thanks, Kel,” is really all I want. 

I don’t even care if I get a “thank you” for cooking or doing the dishes or the laundry. 

If I clean the bathroom, dust/vacuum, scrub the cabinets or stove, I would like a “thank you.”  If I decorate the house for the holidays, bring down the storm doors, clean and organize tragically cluttered rooms, I would like a “thank you.”

There are little things that have become expected, like preparing the coffee for the morning, cracking the ice, emptying the dishwasher, etc. that I never get a “thanks” for and those things I don’t mind.  But the bigger things, the things that cause me to sweat and strain, just a bit of gratitude would be appreciated.

I know all women who do any household chores without any acknowledgment can relate.

One of the most frustrating things about being a woman is taking your car to the mechanic.

Mechanics are generally male and they assume that females don’t know anything about cars.

Truthfully, most women don’t.

I know more than most women that I know.  I can change a tire, check/add oil, fill most fluids and locate many parts.  This is thanks to my mom who paid attention to her dad.  My grandpa always worked on cars, mostly for fun.  She liked to help him.

When I was young and spent time with him, he let me help too.  He taught me to change a tire when I was 12.

I have found that when I take my car to a mechanic, they treat me like a clueless twit. 

My mom has the same experience. 

When I take my car, or anything else needing fixing, to the shop, I usually do not know what is causing the problem.  I tell them what is happening and ask them to check it out for me. 

I don’t think I sound wishy-washy or utterly baffled.  Yet, they always seem to come up with some strange answers.  Or they tell me they fixed it and did not.

One example was about 6 years ago.

When I got my car 7 years ago, my parents gave me remote start for Christmas.  A year later, it started acting up, so I took it in.  What happened was that I turned the car off and it wouldn’t start again.  I had to have it towed to the shop.  They claimed to have fixed it.  I had been out of a car for a few days, so I was relieved that they fixed it so easily.  I picked it up, drove home, stopped at the office to pay my rent and when I got back in the car to drive to the parking garage, it wouldn’t start. 

I was so angry.  I had to have it towed again.  They tried giving me some crap.  My step-dad had picked me up and taken me to the shop.  They thought he was going to do the talking at this point, but I was so angry, I went off on them and challenged them on every excuse they gave me.  They gave me a loaner to try to calm me down.

It seems that the only way to get mechanics to treat a woman with respect and the same honesty they use with a man is to get angry.  Anything less is construed as weakness, which equals a target.

My mom had to take her car to get new brakes this week.  They called to tell her what needed to be done and how much it was.  Then they called her to ask her if she has been using the parking brake too much.  She laughed and said she never uses it.  He said, oh, well that’s the problem.

Ok, first you tell me it’s worn because it’s used too much, now you’re telling me it’s worn because it’s not used? 

Then he says, he may as well do it since they are already in there.  He tells her it will be an additional $400, but they don’t have the part so it would be a few days. 

Wait, you just said you could do it since you will be “in there” anyway, but you don’t have the part?  So you wouldn’t be in there anyway.  You’d be done with the brakes.

No thanks, just fix the brakes like I originally asked. 

I find even places like Jiffy Lube try to “scare” you into thinking something could go terribly wrong if you don’t do what is recommended on the vehicle diagnostic screen.  Some really don’t care, they are just going through the motions, but others are higher pressure.  It’s annoying.

No, I don’t want to have my fuel line cleaned.  Just change my oil.  I understand it will make my fuel efficiency better, but just change my oil.  No, I don’t want to spend another $60, just changing my oil.  No, I don’t care that it will only take another 30 minutes, just change my damn oil!

I suppose I could remedy this by going to the local community college and learning to change my own oil, replace my own brakes and tune my own engine (that sounds dirty),  but that is not likely to happen.

Frankly, it shouldn’t HAVE to happen in order to get trustworthy and honest service.